January 2nd, 2010 by Dave

oldsurgery copy


[or how I stopped worrying and learned to love the present]

The short answer is because I have cancer. Before you jump to conclusions – I found it early (in my junk), had it cut out and the doctor says he expects me to be cured, without having to lose my hair, but that’s besides the point.

Going back in time is something that I expect every one would want to do for one reason or another. You could be the Beatles before the Beatles, assassinate Hitler or go work out with Arnie at Golds Gym. I’ve always wanted to go back in time so I could create Spiderman and buy stocks in Microsoft.

But ever since my diagnosis I am so glad that I exist now because if I were my age in the 1930s I would be:

So for me, time travel is no longer Churchill or Napoleon, Hitler or Caesar, its chemo or no chemo?

Louis C.K said, “A black guy in a time machine is like, ‘hey anything before 1980, no thank you, I don’t wanna go.” It’s a humorous observation that now has a lot of relevance to my situation and to the countless number of other cancer patients. While I’m at it, anyone who’s ever suffered a heart attack, stoke, leukemia, diabetes or even glandular fever wouldn’t want to go back in time.

My great grandfather died from cancer in his hacky sack when he was only 38. It was 1912, x-rays weren’t invented then, and his family wasn’t told what was wrong with him. I assume great great granny knew but the rest of the family (grandpa and all the little Ferriers) were always told that he was hit in the leg with a cricket ball which caused a blood clot. My family only found out the truth a short time ago. I guess it was a point of shame? Or just something people never talked about back then. Did they even know what cancer was? Fuck the past.

If anything I want to go forward in time, but then there would be the dreaded possibility of meeting myself and making the universe explode.


Tags: , , , , , ,


  1. alabama live homework help essay essay writer essay

  2. cheap car insurance quotes car insurance quotes california car insurance quotes california auto insurance quotes california

  3. Jamesacity says:

    term paper write my paper write my paper for me term paper get homework help research essay essay help online essay instant online payday loan instant online payday loan small online payday loans best cash advance loans online wife webcam boob cams wife webcam wife on webcam small loans no credit check payday loans bad credit payday loans no credit check payday loans no credit check research paper can someone do my assignment college paper la homework help common application essay prompts common application essay prompts where to buy essays online writing a research paper proposal same day payday loans online best payday loans online easy payday loans online easy payday loans online

  4. auto ins says:

    general car insurance quote auto insurance quotes texas online auto insurance quotes auto insurance quotes

  5. LelandDep says:

    We stumbled over here coming from a different page and thought I may as well check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to checking out your web page repeatedly.
    sildenafil 20 mg

  6. Jamesacity says:

    payday loans direct lender direct lender payday loans internet payday loans direct lender payday loans college essay help college application essay online math homework solver college application essay loans online cash loans cash loans loans loan easy payday loans online money loan cash advance lenders research essay essay help research essay research paper writer services advance payday loans online payday loans cash loans advance payday loans

  7. Maxinekam says:

    pogo casino slots
    online gambling casino
    play casinos
    online casino games

  8. TyroneNab says:

    generic viagra for sale in canada
    viagra without doctor
    can i get a viagra prescription online
    viagra without a prescription
    sildenafil 50 mg como se usa
    generic viagra online
    kann man viagra online bestellen
    generic viagra
    viagra at rite aid price

  9. Speedy Cash says:

    personal loans with bad credit online loans for bad credit loans for bad credit loans for bad credit

  10. Jamesacity says:

    short essays do my maths homework phd dissertation writing services write my paper for me writing a paper paper writing paper writing help in writing an essay payday advance loan cash loans no credit check fastest payday loan online payday loans online payday loan instant approval online payday loan instant approval payday loan online online payday loan instant approval online payday loans for bad credit bad credit payday loans direct lenders direct payday lenders online same day payday loans online buy essay online what is a term paper essay online buy essay online writing a paper essay writing paper writing writing my essay direct lenders payday loans direct lenders online loans online payday loans direct lenders direct payday lenders online payday loans same day loan installment loans no credit check payday loan near me argument essay argument essay buy essay essay corrector

  11. TerryTuh says:

    cialis online cheap no prescription
    cialis generic
    much cialis pills
    cialis generic
    buy generic cialis online uk
    cialis cialis prices
    reliable place buy cialis
    cialis online
    cialis soft tabs cheap

  12. NaomiPhals says:

    lose weight fast
    best diet pills
    best diet pills for weight loss
    best weight loss pills for women

  13. KerryImica says:

    microsoft access
    windows live
    windows explorer in windows 10
    microsoft windows
    windows d

Leave a Reply